Journey of Souls
by Yi Lin
Summary: *Ch.2 is up!* Touma has moved away from the others, both in body and spirit. Will the Seiji and the others be able to bring him back from his own demons? *Yaoi/Shounen ai*
1. Divided We Fall

Disclaimer: I do not own and will never own Ronin Warriors. ;_; Just makes you want to cry, doesn't it? Sueing me will get you about… 6 pennies and a block of wood. _ So, I highly recommend against such actions. This is **yaoi/shounen**** ai.  If you are against such things then do not read further. You have been warned so I won't appreciate and flames about this. **

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**_Journey of Souls_**

By Yi Lin

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He was far away from home. Actually he couldn't ever remember having a stable home. Sure, he had a house to dwell in, and he was always fed and clothed, but that feeling of family-ness was lacking. His mind tended to wander to the past as he lay awake at night. In fact, being the genius that he was he highly doubted that he ever really stopped thinking, much less about his childhood, or lack thereof.

Maybe it's his imagination playing tricks with his mind, but did the stars not shine as brightly as they did before he left the others, left the only real home he had known? Probably his overactive imagination at it again for the thousandth time. When would he learn to not drink whatever was in the fridge without looking at the expiration date?

A soft sigh escaped his parted lips before taking in more of the air surrounding him. It was suffocating to say the least. He hated living by himself, but couldn't bring himself to move in with the others. They had their own lives and didn't need him burdening them. Great, now he was just talking to himself. What next? The walls will start talking to him? He needed a drink. Badly.

Rising to his bare feet, he wandered into the confines of his 'kitchen', if anyone could call it that. Basically, it was just the corner of the living room that held only a portable electric stove, sink, and literally one plate, one mug, and one bowl. Oh, must not forget the fact that he didn't have any silverware and his small fridge held... well… didn't hold anything except for what appeared to be a molding container of … he'd rather not find out what was growing in there..

A slender hand reached down to pluck his only mug up, soft azure hues narrowed as they examined the faded writings. The corners of his mouth pulled up just slightly as though a pleasant memory surfaced. Indeed, it was a pleasant memory for him. The mug had been a present from his friends and comrades in arms on his 18th birthday. Actually, it was a gag gift since all over the surface each person had written their own version of 'I hope you get laid!'. Well, it was the thought that counted.

Jerking from his memory world he placed the mug back down. It was actually pointless to use it seeing as there was still nothing in the fridge and he didn't exactly trust the water to be of drinking quality. Shopping would be a smart thing to do. Geniuses were smart. He was genius so shouldn't he be smart? Nope, that would be too logical. 

Grabbing his worn blue jacket, he shrugged it on as he searched for his keys. The same keys that just so happened to already be in his pocket. After a few moments he finally realized this fact and was out the door without a second thought. He was already down the block before realizing it would be hard to buy anything much less groceries if he didn't have money so he made his way make to the apartment building to climb up seven flights of stairs before reaching his own place. Wallet in hand, a wallet that held money… he had made sure before shoving it in his back pocket, he returned the way he came.

Brightness of the neon glowing lights hurt his sensitive eyes. Damn shop owners were trying to blind him or something. Lowering his head as far as he could, he looked through blue bangs hanging in his field of vision. No longer was he dealing with just one stubborn lock, he was dealing with an arsenal for he seldom wore his headband anymore. Not really a particular reason why just he didn't want to be the same as before. Making a small change as that didn't make much of a difference on the outside but on the inside he felt like a completely different person. Hell, he_ was a completely different person._

Shoving all unwanted thoughts aside, he pushed open the entrance door that led directly to the produce section of the grocery store. Glancing around slowly he picked up a basket to carry whatever he chose to buy. Ignoring the stares and whispers of others at his shocking shade of hair, he walked done the closest aisle to him. Wrong choice. The moment he looked up, azure hues locked with hazel ones. Ones belonging to the bearer of Torrent. Damn his luck. He'd forgotten that the others lived so close.

"Touma-kun!"

Damn. Damn. Damn. Damn. He didn't want to face the others. Not now and maybe not ever. Perhaps he was being selfish and a bad friend, but at that moment he didn't care. Nothing mattered to him other than the fact that he needed to get out of there NOW.  Feeling like a coward he turned tail and walked briskly out the door. At the last minute he remembered to drop off the basket he was holding and stole one last regretful glance at Shin before making himself scarce. Of course Torrent would try to follow him, but out of the five of them Shin had the most sense and compassion to realize that following would hurt Touma for he obviously didn't want to be found.

Finding himself in a deserted alley, he leaned against the brick wall as he tried to still his quick beating heart. That had been close, too close for comfort. Though a nagging voice in his head told him over and over to go back, to stop living this existence he was living. If anyone could call merely breathing living. No, he stopped living that day so long ago. Nothing would be the same for him. Ever. 

A sudden thought struck him. Pushing himself off the wall, he walked in silence in the direction opposite of any stores. Soon there was nothing much of anything besides fields of grass and the occasional tree, but the scenery did change again. The whole area now gave off an aura of something not quite right. Possibly some of the spirits buried on the land were restless. That was to be expected for Touma was walking into a rather old cemetery, one that had been around since before the Meiji era. His feet took him where he wanted to go automatically for this trek was one that was familiar.

Stopping abruptly, he stared down at the marker for a few moments before his knees gave away and sank down onto the cold ground. He was truly weak. Couldn't even keep his stupid emotions in check. Unlike his parents, they always were in full control of their emotions and rarely showed them to anyone much less their son.

"Gomen… I don't mean to be weak. Gods, how I hate to be weak, but I can't help it…It's all I can do not to break down and never get back up."

He only spoke words here, the place had become a sanctuary for him that allowed him to release all that was bottle up inside.

"I know you didn't show it very much, but you loved me... in your own way. Both of you did. I don't feet any hate just an incredible sadness. I-I wanted to make you both proud to have me as a son, but I guess that wasn't meant to be."

Pale hands traced the engraved words on each marker over and over. That simple action seemed to calm his soul if only for the moment.

* * * * *

"Why won't he let us help?" 

Frustrated, Ryo punched the closest thing to him which happened to be a rather ancient looking tree, one that didn't look that it appreciated being used as a punching bag. Ryo didn't even flinch in pain when his fist made contact with the rough bark causing the top layers of skin to rip and bleed crimsom.

"Don't take it out on an innocent tree."

Those were the only words the bearer of Korin had said all day. It was merely just a comment, his thoughts were concentrated elsewhere. Not that he was normally talkative, but this was beyond quiet even for Seiji. 

"Calm down Ryo. He isn't ready to let us help him. He looked like a deer caught in headlights when he saw me at the store. We don't want to push him further away by being impatient."

"I know, but it's frustrating!"

Holding his temper in check, Ryo resisted the urge to punch the tree over and over until there was nothing left. Just barely. Instead he turned to Shuu who had been uncharacteristically quiet and raised ebony brows in query. However, Shuu remained unresponsive. Shaking his head, Ryo glanced up at the sky.

"It's been hard on all of us, but if we crack now then Touma really will be gone and might never return. Cheer up though, the look he had right before he left said that he wanted to come back, but he just wasn't able to yet. Give him time..."

The reality behind Shin's words strengthened all their resolves. If not for Touma's sake, then for their own. With that on their minds, they went their separate ways for the time being. They knew they would eventually have to confront their close friend, but now was not the time. They weren't ready to face the demons.

* * * * *

Another day had gone by with nothing to show for it except swollen and puffy bloodshot eyes. Hell, he didn't even get food like he intended and even that thought didn't bother him a whole lot. He had already gone 5 days without eating and barely drinking anything so what was another day?

*_You are such a coward.*_

"Shut up. What do you know anyways? You're not even real…"

*_Real enough that you are talking to me. Now about this whole deal of slowing killing yourself by not taking care of your health… just isn't going to happen. What would the others think?*_

"The others…the others have nothing to do with this! Leave them out of it. Leave ME out of it!"

*_Touchy. But that just isn't reality. The others will soon find you. What will you do when they discover the state that you're in? Tsk, tsk. I'd hate to see what Torrent will have in store for you once he gets his hands on you.*_

"They won't come near me, not if I won't let them. Just… leave me alone. I don't want any help, least of all from you. Just go away. You're not wanted."

*_Ahh__… I see now. You think you aren't wanted. But I know better. I know all in fact. Everything that concerns you, concerns me. Can't hide things so easily from me. Haha… you can try though. It would be amusing.*_

"Who the hell are ya anyways? Get out of my head. There's only room for one and that's me."

_*Oh, you think that I'm a separate being? Like Tenkuu? Hah. Nice try kid, but no. I am much older. Much wiser. And most of all more in tuned to you. You could say that we are the same person in most aspects.*_

"Most? Why not all Mr. Almighty and knowledgeable one? Pffft. You're not even real. I'll just ignore you and you'll disappear. That's it. You'll just disappear and I'll be alone again… with my own thoughts…"

_*That's where you are mistaken little one. These ARE your own thoughts…and you will never truly be alone. That's not what you want at all. You just want someone to hold you and tell you everything will be okay. Like the way you wished your mother would have done. But she never did, did she?*_

"SHUT THE HELL UP! Leave me alone! I'm not going to listen to you anymore…"

Feeling the frustration building up inside, Touma let it out at the first opportunity he got. Grabbing a plate to his left, his knuckles turned white from holding it so tightly before releasing his grip and letting the plate hurtle towards the wall he was facing. Pieces of what used to be one object scattered everywhere in no particular fashion.  One large and rather pointy piece shot backwards and imbedded itself within the pale flesh of Touma's arm. Staring blankly at it for a few seconds, he grasped the jagged piece and dragged it all along the length of his arm. He didn't even feel the blood seeping through the fresh wound.

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**To be continued…**

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Comments, constructive criticism, and other such things are welcome! :D Thanks for reading!


	2. Crossing the Line

Disclaimer: I do not own and will never own Ronin Warriors. ;_; Just makes you want to cry, doesn't it? Sueing me will get you about… 6 pennies and a block of wood. _ So, I highly recommend against such actions. This is **yaoi/shounen**** ai.  If you are against such things then do not read further. You have been warned so I won't appreciate and flames about this. **

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**_Journey of Souls_**

By Yi Lin

Chapter Two

Crossing the Line

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Sitting cross-legged upon the smooth hard floor of wood in his family dojo, the blonde-haired swordsman was emptying his mind of all thoughts that may clutter up his meditation. In the past this was a rather easy thing to do, however, he found it was increasingly difficult to rid himself of outside influences.  He hadn't said much to the others about Touma, but they knew he was just as worried.

Seiji had been the closest to Touma. It could be the result of sharing a room for so many years, or maybe something else. He was never able to pin point his exact feelings for the blue haired archer, but he never felt the need to vocalize what was on the inside. Somehow he doubted that the approach was a very good idea, but since when has Date Seiji ever backed down once he set his mind to something? Never.

Of course, Touma could be just as stubborn. One incident of such stubbornness brought a hint of blush to his face for it was the moment of clarity for him. Kento didn't realize it, but when he decided that reading just wasn't suited for a fun filled vacation…

_**      The day had been extremely bright with the sun high up at its zenith. The waters were crisp and clear at just the right temperature for a swim, much to Shin's delight. As was expected, Shin was already swimming around with the fish and mammals he so adored with Ryo not far behind. The two had immediately stripped off all articles of clothing except for their swimming trunks. _

_Being the calmer person, Seiji took his time. There was no need to rush into anything. Even in beach ware, Seiji looked as sharp as he ever did. A plain white t-shirt was discarded unto his towel to reveal a lean, muscular form with just the right amount of tan. Slender digits reaching for the button on his khaki shorts, he noticed that Kento had not yet followed the others. That was strange. Usually Touma and he were the last ones to reach the waters. _

_Shin's love of the water had rubbed off on Kento, so… where was he now? Silver hues glanced around curiously before settling on Touma who had obviously decided that his thick book was more important than a dip in the water. A perfectly arched eyebrow rose as he saw Kento sneaking up to the bookworm with a rather devilish grim spread across his features. Secretly smiling on the inside, he chose to remain oblivious and stepped out of his shorts._

_"AHHHH!!!__ Put me down Kento! This instant! And give me back my book!"_

_"What do you mean? I'm just helping you along, like a good friend ought to do."_

_"Good friend, my ass! If you were a good friend then you would've let me sit down and enjoy my book in peace and quiet. But what are you doing? Exactly the opposite! I think you've had one too many tequilas. I mean really, that stuff could kill ya. Do you realize how…"_

_Kento__ had stopped listening long ago. That didn't mean his feet stopped functioning however. In fact, he was already thigh deep in ocean water. By that time, all of them saw what was happening and couldn't keep in the cheers and laughter. The sight was just too funny. Touma was in stuck in Kento's grip while flailing his arms to no avail, all the while running his mouth off the entire time._

_"..And furthermore, I think it's absurd for you to carry me around like a fragile object that needs to be- Hey, what are you doing? STOP! "_

_"I'm only doing what you requested, of course. One non-fragile Touma coming right up!"_

_As soon as the last word left Kento's lips, Touma's world became surrounded by a watery cage whose keys were thrown away by the sheriff. Hmm… wasn't he supposed to get one phone call? Striking him as completely hilarious, the archer's mouth opened too quickly for his rational mind to remind him that he wasn't on land and that opening his mouth would be a bad idea. Too little,  too late. If it weren't for the fact that Kento was sitting on him, he would've easily resurfaced for more air. Being as stubborn as he was, he refused to use his link to tell the others that he was running out of air. There was no way he was going to give into Kento, his pride wouldn't allow such an act._

_All the while, Seiji observed with a calm expression. The matter would be resolved soon enough. The seconds ticked by one by one. Eyebrows knitted together in the beginnings of worry. Touma shouldn't be under for that long and then it hit him. Kento was sitting on him, what a big oaf. For a moment there, he was really concerned. Wait a minute. Why was he so worried anyways? He knew that Touma was fully capable of taking care of himself, a fact that he proved true time and time again during the war. He chalked it up as feelings that a best friend should have. _

_"Uh, Kento… don't you think that it's gone on long enough?" _

_"What are you talking about Shin? It's barely been thirty seconds since he went under."_

_"…It's been almost TWO minutes."_

_"Quit playing. I mean, I would know how long he's been do-"_

_"Stop talking and let him up!"_

_Nodding his head up and down, Kento relinquished his seat upon the archer and watched the surface expectantly. Nothing. The surface remained unbroken. That's when he dived underwater and used powerful limbs to scan the waters. He spotted his prize, but just stared dumbstuck for a few moments before resurfacing. That was odd, when did Seiji even get into the water?_

_The second the conversation floated to his ears, Seiji made a mad dash towards the others with only one thought on his mind. *Touma will be okay. Touma will be okay.. Touma HAS to be okay.. Touma… Touma…* With uncanny speed, he was already waist deep and he dove under within 10 seconds. Everywhere he looked was empty and dark that held no signs of life. Kuso. He had to hurry. Attempting to locate him through their link, he was pointed to his left._

_THERE! Powerful strokes and kicks cut through the liquid like a hot knife through butter. Hooking his arms around the limp form of his best friend, he used his remaining energy to kick to the surface. If he needed air badly already, then it must be a hundred times worse for Touma. Kami, he better be all right or else Seiji wouldn't…that's not important now. All that mattered was getting Touma to the surface and filling his lungs with much needed oxygen._

_Two heads broke the surface a few seconds after Kento own head did. Shin and Ryo were just about to question Hardrock, but were stopped with their mouths open but no sound coming forth. There was Seiji dragging Touma's body to shore. Shaking themselves back to reality, they all swam for the shore rather quickly. By the time they reached the others, Seiji was already performing CPR with interlocked fingers, hands placed just above the sternum. One compression, two compressions, three, then a fourth and a fifth before he lowered his face  and pinched his nose shut as he breathed life into the open mouth. No response…_

_"Damn it Touma, don't you dare do this to me now!"_

_The others watched in silent concern as Seiji continued to administer CPR. Each sent their powers flooding into Touma, hoping that each bit would help. Who knew what was supposed to be a fun filled day would turn out to be so grim. Kento was freely crying now. He hadn't meant to let the joke go this far, he loved Touma like his own brother and to think that it was his fault that he was unconscious and might not wake up tore at his heart._

_"Shhh… don't go blaming yourself, things will turn out all right. Touma's always been a fighter, and he'll fight this battle and come out a winner just like all those other times. He'll pull through 'cause he is just that stubborn headed."_

_Being the most sensitive of the group, Shin knew that Kento must be full of guilt and blame aimed at himself. Now was not the time to think such things, all they could do is have faith. Cupping his cheek gently, his thumb wiped away the moist trails of tears. Wrapping Kento up in a reassuring hug, he glanced back towards Ryo and gave a watery smile which was returned before all attention rested on Seiji and Touma._

_Meanwhile, Seiji continued using his upper body strength to keep the compressions coming along with intervals of breaths yet still no signs of improvement. If something didn't change quickly he would soon turn frantic. Silver hues wide, brimmed with unshed tears, looked at the unusually pale face. Even now, he couldn't help but notice what a beautiful image Touma presented with the way one single lock of blue stubbornly remained settled right between the middle of closed orbs, or the way that his lips, which he had the liberty to find out were indeed very soft and kissable, were full and parted just so making him appear very adorable. _

_Shocked at the turn his thoughts led him, he quickly squashed down the emotions burning a hole in his chest. All of that can be for later, he quickly bent over to blow more air into Touma's lips. A chill ran through his spine when his own warm flesh made contact with pale, chilled flesh. Panic pulled him in every direction at once. He didn't want to believe that it wasn't working_

_Just as Seiji  was about to lose his head, Touma's body jerked up and released the water lodged within his lungs. Coughing and gasping for much needed air at the same time, he hadn't noticed the others crowd around him with relief and still worry on their faces. He was finally able to normalize his breathing when he felt his shivering form encased a large, fluffy towel along with a pair of strong arms that radiated so much warmth that he let out a soft sigh of content.     **_

Indeed, that day was almost near fatal, but in the end things turned out all right though Seiji had to deal with a whole new set of problems as a result. Ever tried arguing with your heart with your head? It hurts. A lot. A pounding migraine was the only end result, oh, along with defeat for the head of course. Hearts are too damn stubborn. And seeing that it was his own heart, it was even more stubborn than usual.

Seiji never thought that he leaned the other way, though women just don't hold his interest long enough for him to care.  He had his family and friends so he didn't feel the need to add anyone else to the picture. Maybe he was just too caught up with the responsibility of running the dojo after his Ojii-san decided he was ready.  Not to say he wasn't pressured by his beloved grandfather to settle down with a nice, respectable young lady and produce an heir. He just turned a deaf ear whenever the subject came up much to everyone's annoyance. 

Touma brought out a side of him that he never knew existed. It was hard to not crack a smile whenever the other was around. Though he didn't know if Touma felt the same way, Seiji noticed that he seemed to be extra talkative and his smiles were just brighter whenever he was with him. Maybe it was just wishful thinking. Ahh.. but he would never know. He lost his chance to explore what might have been. A strong sense of defeat enveloped his being, almost crushing his now lost spirit.

It's been too long. In reality, it had only been a few months since Touma up and left, but to him it seemed like eternity had crawled on by in slow motion just to torture him so more. Who knew if the gods relished seeing him miserable.  All he knew  was that if Touma didn't return soon, he… he…

Suddenly, his body spasmed causing him to fall over onto his side. Curling up into a ball, he was shocked with the overwhelming feeling of loss, fear, and pain. Fear gripping his being, he struggled to his feet, and stumbled outside towards the street. His only thought was following the tug on his link towards his little one in pain… his? No time for that…

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To be continued…

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Author's Notes: Wow! I can't believe I got reviews! ^-^ Made me so happy, I wrote another chapter.  Thanks so much for the comments! :D I'll have the next chapter out as soon as I can. Thanks so much for reading! ^_^ Comments/Suggestions/Nonsense stuff welcome. 


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